"You have to out crazy them." I heard that from one staff recently and it immediately hurled me back in space and time to my experience at Martin Center, an inpatient adolescent psychiatric treatment unit, that I worked in shortly after I graduated from college. I was sitting at a picnic table across from a guy named Bruce doing what constituted an interview at that facility. Bruce had wild Einstein hair that never had any two hairs pointing in exactly the same direction and he liked to smoke a lot of weed and talk platitudes which made sense to nobody except for him. I had little bit of experience at a rougher facility so I managed to wrangle an interview. I expected to sit in an office and face the usual inquisition from 2-5 earnest management types. Sitting at a picnic table was definitely more my style. At the tender age of 24 I was easily impressed by such seasoned veterans of the social service system. That awe would fast fade but Bruce's rhetoric pulled me in for awhile.
In my latest reincarnation as the mostly self-identified change agent of another social service system, ( a lockup facility this time), such rhetoric seems dated and bizarre. It could be a combination of age (I just turned 50) and weathering. I have been doing this stuff for over 25 years now. This Stuff is doing everything I possibly can to help young people make better lives for themselves. I am no longer interested in out crazying them. Today I am more interested in out wising them. There was a time when I bought into such nonsense. I believed, like Bruce believed that if I acted crazier than the residents they would magically come to some sudden state of awareness and enlightenment. Today those notions seem anachronistic.
It's not that I am not macho and masculine. But somewhere along the way I became a peaceful warrior. I discovered little tricks like speaking softer and softer and softer still. Magically this gets the boys to listen even better. I hear tales of trying to get the boys to follow rules. Rumor has it one veteran staff read them the rules for four hours. Doing learning style and psychological math this means that they were listening for about twelve minutes which leaves three hours and forty eight minutes of absolute wasted time.
Some of these kids are veterans of the system as well. Some cite their long list of program failures like other men brag of trophy bucks and skiing down impossible chutes. They are not impressed easily or by much. They have seen the best and worst the system has to offer (or not offer). They have mastered the art of tuning us out. Somebody droning on for four hours about rules will most likely not capture their imagination.
What captures their imagination is unrelenting kindness and acceptance. They like people who are genuinely interested in them and listen. They like people who have something different to offer.
They have seen crazy too. There is always someone bigger, badder and more intense. To quote Jack Nicholson: "Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all full up here."
In my latest reincarnation as the mostly self-identified change agent of another social service system, ( a lockup facility this time), such rhetoric seems dated and bizarre. It could be a combination of age (I just turned 50) and weathering. I have been doing this stuff for over 25 years now. This Stuff is doing everything I possibly can to help young people make better lives for themselves. I am no longer interested in out crazying them. Today I am more interested in out wising them. There was a time when I bought into such nonsense. I believed, like Bruce believed that if I acted crazier than the residents they would magically come to some sudden state of awareness and enlightenment. Today those notions seem anachronistic.
It's not that I am not macho and masculine. But somewhere along the way I became a peaceful warrior. I discovered little tricks like speaking softer and softer and softer still. Magically this gets the boys to listen even better. I hear tales of trying to get the boys to follow rules. Rumor has it one veteran staff read them the rules for four hours. Doing learning style and psychological math this means that they were listening for about twelve minutes which leaves three hours and forty eight minutes of absolute wasted time.
Some of these kids are veterans of the system as well. Some cite their long list of program failures like other men brag of trophy bucks and skiing down impossible chutes. They are not impressed easily or by much. They have seen the best and worst the system has to offer (or not offer). They have mastered the art of tuning us out. Somebody droning on for four hours about rules will most likely not capture their imagination.
What captures their imagination is unrelenting kindness and acceptance. They like people who are genuinely interested in them and listen. They like people who have something different to offer.
They have seen crazy too. There is always someone bigger, badder and more intense. To quote Jack Nicholson: "Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all full up here."
