Loud Fart No Remorse: The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids: Installm...

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The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids: Installment #4 Chapter One

l  Chapter 1 Love is the answer

If I am not teaching love, I am not teaching. Or, perhaps I should say, I am teaching something else. Verlyn Smith, a career middle school educator of some 30 years experience tells his incoming class on the first day of school that he loves them. He says this repeatedly throughout the first day and reminds them thereafter that yes he does indeed love them all. He says they initially find this strange coming from a middle aged male but after a while, they themselves will ask him “Mr. Smith do you love us today?” After he has told them he loves them, he says, he is free to discipline them, praise them, and guide them through the chaos that constitutes the middle school years.

When a child or a parent first comes into my office, they may or may not say; “Do you care?” or the blunter among them will say; “You don't care.” Before any issues can be discussed and any progress made, each child wants to know that they are loved. Sometimes the word is care, sometimes the word is love but the emotion is the same.

This path differs from the cold clinical medication and diagnosed burdened field that has become counseling. In the conventional counseling scenario a “client” comes with a disorder, add,  adhd, ocdc, ptsd, anxiety disorder, asperger's syndrome, bipolar disorder, conduct disorder, chemical dependency, codependency…I think you get the idea. (I’m still trying to get “humor impaired” listed but there has been no response from APA, the American Psychiatric Association for nearly 20 years now). The counselor with his arsenal of techniques, motivational interviewing, gestalt, rational emotional therapy, neurolinguistic programming, rogerian therapy......etc, his understanding of their unique life station through his cultural diversity and empathy training, the culture of poverty and today of course medication, ritalin, welbutrin....In the 1275 pages of the DSM-IV there are thousand of  different diagnoses, strangely divergent ways the human condition can go wrong. There is not as Rob Brezny points out in his manifesto “Pronoia” a single entry on wellness. Nor is there a single page that says “Not Loved.”

I was sitting mostly obediently at a recent conference presentation where the presenter was enlightening us with the excel program he had designed to check off all the skills that his facilitators needed in order to run a high ropes course safely. On the face of it, his approach had merit. Certainly we wanted to know that our facilitators could act safely and had all the necessary skills. As he continued his presentation, however, my business partner began to squirm and mumble under his breath. As the presenter started to explain how he would confront his employees with their deficits and then have them  create individualized improvement plans, my partner interrupted: “but then you always tell that you love them, don't you?” The presenter was momentarily startled but then continued. My partner interrupted again: “but you do tell them that they love you right.” The presenter ignored him and continued.

My partner, Bill Smith, a career military man, an Iraqi War veteran and a member of the Tenth Mountain Division was leading mountaineering expeditions when the presenter was in grade school. With his brusque exterior, he would not seem the most likely person to ask such a touchy feely question. In the field with a squad of soldiers, however, love is paramount. Men will die for someone they feel loves them.

Later that evening, I debriefed my reactions to this new way of thinking with my wife. I explained the presentation, described Bill's frustration and explained my own bewilderment. Why was I deeply disturbed at a soul level at something that seemed to make sense on the surface? My wife, a wise woman with 29 years of sobriety had an instant answer. “Well, he severed the connection between the heart and the head.”

It was indeed that simple.

A Native American medicine man who has been my mentor for some twenty years practices what he calls “heart medicine.” A conventional approach in that discipline is to look at the person who comes with a variety of maladies. The medicine person then does a ceremony and drives out the negative energy or ghosts and the person becomes well. Brad's approach is different. He introduces himself to the negative energy, “makes friends with it” and then encourages not just to leave but also to transform.

He ignores dualistic thinking.

The Wild Wild Wild West of School Lunches #5: Popeye Where are You Now?

Spinach

I did not know until after college that spinach was a green leafy vegetable. My mother may have served it in a salad but I don’t remember. I remember spinach as an amorphous lump on a rectangular plastic yellow tray. In the eyes of elementary children the spinach served at school lunches in the 60’s and 70’s appeared to have already been digested. The lunch ladies (they were always lunch ladies back then) would plop a dark green mass next to your soggy hamburger and limp fries. Desert would vary but often it was a “fruit cocktail.” Fruit cocktails were most likely the first incursion of high fructose corn syrup into the American diet. 

On the  “colonial style”(just like the early colonists had?) television at home a well built smoking sailor named Popeye who was always battling a slightly brown skinned man with dark hair and a beard named Bluto pushed this canned glop onto American children as if it were ambrosia. Every time Popeye got into trouble he would dump the green swill down his throat and he would win the epic battle against Good and Evil again and America was safe from brown hordes. Popeye’s girlfriend Olive Oyl looks through the hindsight of history to be suffering from anorexia. The fourth character, an obese man named Wimpy, subsisted primarily on hamburgers which. To make things worse, Wimpy begged for his burgers. “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." He always owed somebody money. Although we all watched Popeye and Bluto at least weekly few were convinced that the soggy green mass had anything to offer us. Few ever made the connection the comic strip’s producers wanted us to make. Spinach is good for you and hamburgers will make you into a fat cowardly mooch.

Olive Oyl reflected a bizarre cultural norm as well. She continually vacillated between the bad boy Bluto and the good boy Popeye. Many episodes featured Olive Oyl being kidnapped by Bluto for unexplained reasons and miraculously rescued by Popeye who could only do this feat with the help of canned spinach. Wimpy never rescued anybody. No wonder the boomers, the first generation to grow up on television, are so confused. We’re not sure what to eat and we have the highest divorce rate in history.

I think all these random thoughts in the wee hours of the morning when I sit down in front of my laptop to blither on about schools and health and how to get kids and staff to be healthier. Weighty issues indeed.

The messaging and marketing of the boomer generation produced the teletubbies they went on to reproduce. We have a lot of work ahead of us.

Chocolate is Good for You!!!

Between the day after Halloween sugar hangover and the craziness of trying to figure out what's actually good to eat in the industrial food supply, I have some wonderful news! Chocolate is good for you! The flip side of this is that probably very little of what your child liberated from the neighbors last night is actually chocolate. More likely it's high fructose corn syrup with chocolate flavoring and some unpronounceable ingredients. That's okay, let them enjoy it for a few days and when the sugar high has passed you can start to educate yourself and your child about what chocolate manufacturers practice fair trade and have reasonably healthy products.

I have to admit I was so relieved when I discovered that Reese's peanut butter cups were made with real sugar. A student of mine told me this because she was determined to eat candy only with real sugar. I consider that a good start on her part. 

Unfortunately, our old friends, names we grew with up: Hershey's and, Nestle  still use child slave  labor to obtain their chocolate. Many of them have signed agreements to end child slave labor but so far it's just lip service. Mars, however, who make snickers and M and M's seems to be leading the way in establishing their products as fair trade.

It may seem unfair to be the one who spoils the wonderful fun of Halloween with bitter news about how our cultural practices which are all about kids and fun come at the expense and sometimes the lives of children a world away. The good news in all this is that we don't have to give up chocolate.We just need to develop a consciousness and awareness around it. The simplest thing you can do, rather than researching each and every individual company is to look for the fair trade label on all of your chocolates.

In ancient times, cocoa was typically used by the Mayan and Aztec elite societies for its medicinal value in cases of fever, heart pain, emaciation, fatigue, and kidney ailments.  It wasn’t until more recently that cocoa’s healthy reputation began to be tarnished by adding emulsified sugars, milk, flavorings and preservatives.  When selecting chocolate for its antioxidant benefits, cocoa in its purest form is the best choice; second best choice would be dark chocolate of 70% or higher cocoa.

Chocolate is made from plants, which means it contains many of the health benefits of dark vegetables.  Health benefits of Dark Chocolate:

·         Lowers Blood Pressure

·         Reduces LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) by up to 10%

·         Stimulates endorphin production

·         Contains serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant

·         Contains 8 times the number of antioxidants found in strawberries which protect the body from aging and heart disease

·         It tastes good and gives a feeling of pleasure

·         Contains oleic acid (monounsaturated fat-the good fat) & Stearic Acid (neutralizes cholesterol)

Most of the studies used no more than about 3.5 ounces of dark chocolate a day to get the benefits.  Recommendation:  Cut out other sweets or snacks and replace them with a half a bar of dark chocolate to keep your total calories the same.

Honest Chocolate 

Landing and Launching: Installment #5

5 CARS

Preparation Time: none to considerable

Materials needed: None, Hot wheels type cars or pictures of fantasy vehicles

Procedure: Ask students to choose which car best shows the type of day they would like to have.

Alternatives: Distribute art supplies and ask students to create a car that is most like them.

Notes:

1)      Although it may sound a bit sexist to say this activity is preferred more by younger boys.

2)      This is an activity that is best done when a group is still forming. It's safe and introduces the concept of feeling states without going too deep too fast.

3)      Adult alternative: Ask adults to tell the group about their first car.

6 MOVIES

Preparation Time: None

Materials: None

Procedure:

1) Ask students what movie best represents their life to date

Alternatives:

1)      Ask students which movie character most resembles their life story so far.

2)      Ask students to select a video game which best represents their life.

Questions for older or advanced groups

(1)   If your life/day so far was a movie what would the title be?

(2)   Who would play you?

(3)   What parts of the script would you change?

(4)   What parts of the script would you keep?

(5)   If you wanted to write a movie for your future or the rest of your day what the title be?

(6)   What would the script be?

Notes:

This activity is deceptively powerful especially for student who grow up in challenging circumstances. I often find that children who have few venues for emotional expression will identify with movie or video game characters. If they feel powerless they will gravitate towards powerful characters who are fearless in any situation.

7 COLLECTED IMAGES

Preparation Time: 30 minutes or the rest of your life. Collecting images for processing can be addicting. Although you can quickly assemble many images just by cutting out magazines you may find yourself asking the dentist or doctor if you can cut out an image from the magazines in their waiting room. More importantly you get to laminate!

Materials needed: 40-50 images on laminated cards (If they are not laminated plan on them being disposable.)

Procedure:

1)      While the students are seated in a circle toss the cars one at a time into the center of the circle.

2)      While students may want to grab cards right away encourage them to wait until they can see all the cards.

Suggested Framing:

1)      Pick one card for how your morning went.

2)      Pick one card for the best thing that happened today and one card for the worst thing that happened today (week).

3)      Pick one card for how you would like your day to go.

4)      Pick one card that summarizes your week.

Notes:

I am sure you will have if you don't already a ready source of images but here are some of my favorites to get you started.

Off line:

1)      In the meditation and wisdom sections of the Yoga Journal you will find wonderful art that is generally 3x5.

2)      Celestial Seasonings and other specialty tea companies have beautifully contemplative art on many of their tea boxes. If you don't drink tea ask among your staff.

3)      Post Cards

On Line:  

1)      Screen Beans: If you haven't met the screen beans yet you will be delighted. They range from simple to complex and powerful emotions. They climb mountains, surf and even salute the flag.

To Buy:

1) No processing book would be complete without mentioning Steve Simpson's Chiji Cards.

Activity Credit: Some parts of this activity were inspired by Jennifer Stanchfield’s conference presentations.

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The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids: Installment #3

Eight years later I had finished my classes and my 2000 hours of internship. In between I ran a kayak business, got married and held two different jobs. I did not take the fast track to certification but I had learned a lot. I began to become seasoned but not burnt out. Lessons from my youth stayed in my consciousness and kept me mindful of the value and intention of my work.

In the movie “Teachers” with Nick Nolte, there is a memorable scene where a teacher dies and nobody knows for three days. The teacher has refined classroom management into a science. The students dutifully file in, drop their homework in the in basket and pick up their graded work from the out basket. The teacher sits in his chair with his feet on the desk reading a newspaper. Students could go days or weeks without actually seeing his face or hearing his voice. As the papers built up in the box but failed to make it to the out box one brave student finally dared to look behind the paper and noticed that the teacher wasn't breathing and was in fact dead.

When I saw that movie, I resolved that no matter what happened to me, I did not want to die and not have anybody be able to tell the difference. This is not to say I have not come close to that professional death. I get bored easily. Even if whatever program I created becomes successful and produces good statistics I get restless. I need something new and exciting. When I get close to that edge of entropy, I begin searching for my beginner's mind. I think back to the times when everything was new and fresh and exciting. The image of the teacher who died and nobody noticed follows me everywhere.

The Wild Wild Wild West of School Lunches #4: The $1.74 Challenge

Ahhhhhhhhhh. It's the weekend. You're looking forward to fun with family and friends. Perhaps you're hosting a dinner party. I have a challenge for you. I would like you to create a healthy and nutritious meal that everybody will eat and enjoy for $1.74 per serving. That's what each school that has a lunch program receives from the federal government in order to serve free breakfasts to those who qualify. Here are the requirements:

• Everybody has to finish their meal and enjoy it.
• You have to serve milk.
• You have to serve three servings of fruit and vegetables.
• It's preferable to include beans.
• Eat and serve 30 people within 1/2 hour's time by yourself.
• You will get style points for serving fresh organic locally grown vegetables and fruits.

That's the challenge. If you would like to be more precise in exactly what the USDA requirements are you can visit their website USDA. 

For those of you who want hard data here are the figures:

Breakfast:

Free: $1.74

Reduced: $1.44

Pay: $.26

Lunch

Free: $2.70

Reduced: $2.30

Pay: .$.27

You might be saying yourself if you are following this blog and saw my picture of $5.48 worth of food that it might not be that hard. Maybe it isn't. I don't know. That's why I am challenging my readers to come up with a solution.

But wait there's more! One school I work in with 70 students goes $15,000 in the red to provide school meals. Another school with 120 students goes $45,000 in the red.For you math types here are the figures to work with:

180 days in the school year (x) 70 students (x) $4.44/student (-) !5,000 = 70 healthy, happy and whole children who eat every bite! Good Luck

Rhode Island's Lunch Program