The Wild Wild Wild West of School Lunches#3: What Jeff Eats for Lunch?

What Jeff Eats for Lunch

I am halfway through my home made nori roll when a teacher asks me in a sardonic tone

“Is there meat in that lunch?”

“No”

“What’s in it?”

I peer inside my nori*roll because I can’t quite remember. After all I put it together at 6:30 in the morning and it’s nearly noon now.

“Well, let’s see, rice, grated carrots, sautéed ginger, feta cheese, raisins and green onions.”

“What’s it wrapped in?”

“Nori”

“What’s nori?’

“It’s a type of seaweed. It’s that pale green stuff you see floating on the shore.”

“Oh my God! You eat seaweed?”

“Yep” (between savory crunchy satisfying bites)

“Do you eat any meat?”

“Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do. In fact tonight I’m making venison burgers from last fall’s buck.”

“You hunt?”

”Yes I do. I’ve been hunting since I was a kid”

“Do you hunt?

“No I don’t.”

 “Do you eat meat?”

“Yes I do.”

“Have you ever hunted or butchered your own meat?”

“No”

“Well, I guess that’s just like a Republican: get somebody else to do the killing for you.”

“Hmmm. Good point”

That’s lunchroom banter. It’s fun, friendly and sometimes educational. Teachers and other staff banter back and forth on everything from politics to who won what major sports event the night before. I enjoy eating with the staff because it’s often my only point of adult contact throughout the day. Six hours with middle schoolers can leave me craving intelligent conversation. Because of my unusual roles within the school (I have been the drug and alcohol counselor and now on top of that I’m the school health coordinator) I often elicit a different type of conversation. Teachers and other staff in the past chose lunch time to refer a troubled student and now they ask questions about what I am eating and other health issues. Sometimes they treat me like a priest. When they see me they feel they need to confess. I am updated without seeking it out on who’s quit smoking, who’s lost weight and whatever guilty pleasures they’ve either quit or recently indulged in.

Because I have long hair and teach yoga some often make the mistake that I must be an anti-gun vegetarian. On the contrary, I love meat and eat a lot of it. It’s just that I take responsibility for my own meat. I often look my dinner right in the eye. Of all the diets I have researched, the paleo diet* makes the most sense. Eating like our ancestors did seems to make makes me thrive. Lean, preferably wild meat, fruits in season, greens, roots and nuts is what I thrive on

Of course I get teased a little bit about what I eat. When I don’t have nori, I might wrap my vegetables in a cabbage or kale leaves. I might have dirty rice (venison burger, brown rice and greens, preferably spinach) from the night before with homemade salsa. I usually eat fruit. Sometimes I will be slicing up feral apples

 with my Swiss Army knife.

I probably make an easy target for humor in these conservative Eastern Washington towns.

Occasionally when I get pushed a little too far or teased a little too much I have what has become my standard response:

“Well Paul, you know one thing I have noticed about people who make fun of my food?”

“No, what?”

“They’re usually overweight.”

“Hmmm, good point”

http://www.paleodiet.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nori

Integrated Health Tip #3: Do It in the Morning!

I have been doing yoga fairly consistently for about 12 years now. I was not seeking enlightenment when I began nor am I now. I don't chant, don't say om and only skimmed the  Yoga Sutra and The Baghavad Gita. I started doing yoga because I had a severe knee injury. During a particularly arduous ceremony I stretched and inflamed the meniscus on my right knee. Fortunately it did not tear but it became inflamed to the point where even pain killers did not help. After I got home I picked through a book I had on stress and found 12 simple yoga exercises. That's where it all began. Because I  live in an isolated rural area, the nearest class was over an hour's drive away. I had neither the money or the time
Over time I graduated to Rodney Yee DVD's. From there I moved to a free online site called Yoga Today, http://yogatoday.com/. I believe they charge money today but at that time it was free. I could download three classes at a time on my laptop at work and then do them at my leisure at home. I did my yoga practice this way for years. Every now and then my sister, an experienced yogini would give me some tips. When I finally found a teacher I had been doing yoga for about five years.
Among all the skills I have learned over the years, the most important is the value of a morning practice. If I don't do my yoga in the morning, I may not do it at all that day. After work there may be meetings or crises or any one of a number of distractions.If you feel like you want to begin a practice or are already practicing just remember:
Do it in the morning!

Integrated School Health Tip #3: Volcano Breathing

Well it's another day in American Schools and once again millions of children stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance. I think this is a wonderful place to begin a little yoga. The fine folks at Yoga Calm, http://www.yogacalm.org/ have taught me and countless others this simple breathing technique. Volcano breath is a wonderful way to begin your school day:

• Bring your palms together in the center of your chest.
• While breathing deeply through your nose raise your hands towards the sky.
• Release your breath slowly through your nose while your hands float down to your sides and then once again back to heart center.
• Repeat  5-10 times
• The last time stand still for a few seconds, close your eyes and  visualize a good day.

Of all the yoga I have taught over the years, breathing seems to be what most people remember best. It's quick, it's easy and it works. Try Volcano Breath throughout the day, at class breaks, and especially after lunch.

Pauline Says Eat Your Vegetables!

Pauline never let me have desert unless I had finished everything, This would not have been unusual except that I was a paying customer in her restaurant in Bellingham, Washington. Pauline was not my mom, aunt, grandma or sister. She owned a restaurant about the size of a Volkswagen bus in the town where I went to college. The fare was unexciting but hearty.Pauline served up pot roast, meatloaf, ribs and the like. The meal looked like what most of us had grown up with: some sort of meat, basic vegetables like carrot or broccoli and rice or potatoes.
The first time I ate there I made a common first timer's mistake. I finished my meatloaf and a little bit of the mashed potatoes and gravy and asked for desert. I left the steamed vegetable medley untouched.There was no response or even acknowledgment of my request. I asked again. No response. I asked again. She swiveled her head slowly around, glared at me through her cat eye glasses and snipped at me:

"You have to eat your vegetables first."

I looked at the other customers who were all stifling laughs. There was a general murmur of agreement down the length of the vinyl and chrome counter. Then the people from the two small tables squawked in agreement.They all concurred, each in their own way, that Pauline never gave anybody desert who didn't finish their desert.I was indignant. I was a paying customer after all. I had paid for my desert and I wanted my desert. But Pauline never changed for anybody, especially a young fresh faced college brat.
Well I was a rebel, bad boy, an anarchist and an alpha male but I knew when I'd been beaten. And thanks to my mother I knew when I had hit the wall of matriarchal authority. I ate my vegetables while Pauline watched. Then I got my yellow Betty Crocker style cake with chocolate frosting. I ate my cake, paid and left.
At least once a week for the rest of my college years I would eat at Pauline's Cafe. Occasionally I would  get to see another new customer endure and then transcend the initiation ritual. Some would stomp out in disgust but more often they stayed and joined the tribe.
Pauline had been a mail order bride from France who came over to the United States in the 1940's after World War II. She opened the cafe because she had no other way of making money or getting employment.That was all I knew about her story. Pauline's Cafe is no longer there and nobody seems to even remember her or the cafe.
But I remember her. She was a person who set a simple standard. She represented an archetype of a generation that set simple standards: Eat your vegetables.I wish I had Pauline on my side and in my town when I see kids walking to school with a 32 ounce soda and a doughnut for breakfast. But I'll try to carry her message somehow.

Counselor Tools: Landing and Launching: 101 Checkins and Checkouts: Installment #2

previous 

 LOW CONCEPT

1 Battery Meter/Gas Tank

Preparation time: Five minutes

Materials Needed: Masking tape, floor or wall space

Procedure:

1)      Find an empty space on the wall or floor where you can lay down enough masking tape to make a space large enough to fit your whole class.

2)      Write the word “full” on one end and “empty” on the other end.

3)      Instruct your class to stand on the battery meter according to how much energy they have at that particular time.

Alternatives

1)      Make a portable battery meter from a piece of stiff cardboard, a hole punch holder (?) and a piece of stiff red paper. Draw a half circle following the outline of a protractor (or half of any round object).Cut the stiff red paper into the shape of an arrow just like on a gas gage.  Using a hole punch, make a hole through the red arrow and at the bottom of your gage. Insert your hole punch holder through both the arrow and the meter.

2)      If you are outside and have access to a length of rope or twine make a large meter and have students stand on it as above.

3)      Using no props have students line up or circle up according to who has the most energy and who has the least energy.

Note:

Batteries and energy levels are an easy concept for most students to understand. A variety of  things can affect their energy level. Even a simple question can elicit a lot of information. More than once a sleepy student has disclosed to me that they were tired because their parents were fighting late at night or had returned at 2 am from the tavern. When I receive personal information that seems to go outside the parameters (time or other wise) of the activities I make sure to make an individual appointment with that student or in some cases refer that person to the school counselor.

.Suggestions:

If you have room in your classroom I highly suggest creating an energy meter somewhere       in the classroom. This can be as simple as line with tape and numbers from 1-10. More artsy folks might want to create a movable needle

This activity can be a stand alone activity that you can use at any time during the day as a gage of where to go next or how to plan your day.

$5.48 worth of food

I am always hearing that healthy food is more expensive. This is $5.48 worth of food from a local produce stand. Three eggplants, 8 red bell peppers, numerous hot peppers, two squash and a yummy melon. Let's call this Exhibit A!

The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids: Installment #1

"The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids" is a curious blend of wisdom, stories and advice garnered from over 25 years of working with kids. At least once a week and maybe more if I get more requests I will be publishing the foundational piece of my blog: "Loud Fart no Remorse: The Heretic's Guide to Working with Kids. I plan on putting it out there in about the same size bite that the average busy American can read.

 LOUD FART NO REMORSE
THE HERETIC'S GUIDE TO WORKING WITH KIDS
 INTRODUCTION
The principal sat before his stack of referrals trying to suppress a belly laugh. At the top of the stack sat a referral which said simply “loud fart no remorse.” The teacher recommended one half hour detention for this crime. It seems the teacher had warned the student several times about this offense and what bothered the teacher most of all was that this particular student did not seem to take him seriously or to even grasp the gravity of his olfactory offense.
I attended this student principal interaction because the offender was one of “my kids.” He was not my kid in the biological sense but he did frequently attend my counseling groups. Consequently he became one of that group of lost souls in the system who came under my care. The kids who came my way are often the brightest and most creative of the lot and accordingly give the system the biggest headaches. They question authority frequently, skip school, smoke cigarettes, text message during lectures and are often tardy. Generally they're just trying to survive a system which often baffles them: a system that discarded them long ago.
The teacher's response reminded me of my first job out of college. Straight out of teacher school I landed a job at Secret Harbor, one of the last of the old style reform schools. Because I had a teaching certificate I was asked to sub at the school. On my first day I met Jessie, a young man not much younger than I who was to become my first mentor. In his field of being a professional conduct disorder diagnosed miscreant Jessie was a master. His skills in defying authority were legend. I never did find out if the senior staff assigned him to me by accident or design but 20 years large in my consciousness as a great teacher.
In teacher school, one of the management techniques I had learned when a student was misbehaving was to simply put his or her name on the board. I was to do this quietly without talking. Each time the student misbehaved I added a check. Each check added up to five minutes of detention. When I put Jessie's name on the board he immediately asked what it was for. I calmly replied that it meant five minutes detention. He just laughed. I added another check. He replied with an insult. This process continued for the rest of the class. By the end of the school day Jessie had accumulated several hours of detention.
When the rest of the students had filed out for the day, Jessie remained and continued to insult me. I continued to add check marks. He just laughed and finally said that he was in prison on an island; what did detention mean to him? I stayed with Jessie in the classroom until nearly dinnertime. Eventually somebody in the main lodge must have become curious about Jessie and me. One of the counseling staff entered the classroom, took one look at the chalkboard and suppressed a laugh. Being an experienced counselor he found a graceful way out of the situation for both Jessie and me. My education began.
I had committed a grave mistake for which I was immediately remorseful. I had allowed myself to engage in a power struggle with no easy way out. Although I had six years of college, a teaching certificate and two college degrees I realized that I had no practical skills for the career I was beginning, Try as they might, the academics did not prepare me for the incredible range of human behavior I would encounter.