Pencil Moments

"I just had a 'pencil moment.'"

The rest of the girls in that group all nodded in understanding and empathy. Clearly they were speaking in a code that this 40 something boomer had not yet been privy to.

Molly, a 16 year old junior, had been unable to find her pencil in class and she had suddenly to burst in tears. The rest of the class reacted in the predictable range of ways that high school students reacted. Some rushed to be of comfort. Some looked away uncomfortably. Others looked on with some concern but confusion. The least sensitive among them, many of them males (shamefully for my gender, I am sad to still report), laughed at her.

A "Pencil Moment", in the nomenclature of that particular group can after any and or all of the following possibilities.

• Your mom/dad/guardian yells at you.
• Your family is getting evicted because money's too tight and you have to find a new place to live quickly.
• You get a bad grade on a test or homework.
• You're fighting with the girls on your team.
• You are the subject of vicious rumors.
• Your parents are getting divorced.
• Your mom' new boyfriend is moving in.
• Your boyfriend dumps you, cheats on you, sends you a mean text.
• You get busted for smoking.
• Dad is going to rehab.
• Dad is coming home from rehab.
• You can't stand the family reconciliation counselor.
• Grandma dies.
• You fight with your siblings.
• You are late to school again.

Perhaps you get the idea.

And then.....You have to take yet another of those irrelevant tests or surveys that school officials feel are so important and you need a number two pencil which you are quite sure you have in your backpack and although you have looked everywhere in your backpack and taken out and replaced the contents of that backpack three or four times just to look for that stupid pencil.

And you start crying. And even though the reactions from everybody range from support to disdain, you know that everybody thinks you're crazy. Except for your friends who understand you are just having a pencil moment.

It's not the pencil.

Students (and some teachers) all across America will be having these moments all day today. It's the first day back for many after a long break. Much will have happened in the lives of those kids during the holiday break. Good things, things not so good. Even the most functional of families have a lot of stress during the holidays, so let's take it easy on each other this morning. Peace...Jeff