Eight years later I had finished my classes and my 2000 hours of internship. In between I ran a kayak business, got married and held two different jobs. I did not take the fast track to certification but I had learned a lot. I began to become seasoned but not burnt out. Lessons from my youth stayed in my consciousness and kept me mindful of the value and intention of my work.
In the movie “Teachers” with Nick Nolte, there is a memorable scene where a teacher dies and nobody knows for three days. The teacher has refined classroom management into a science. The students dutifully file in, drop their homework in the in basket and pick up their graded work from the out basket. The teacher sits in his chair with his feet on the desk reading a newspaper. Students could go days or weeks without actually seeing his face or hearing his voice. As the papers built up in the box but failed to make it to the out box one brave student finally dared to look behind the paper and noticed that the teacher wasn't breathing and was in fact dead.
When I saw that movie, I resolved that no matter what happened to me, I did not want to die and not have anybody be able to tell the difference. This is not to say I have not come close to that professional death. I get bored easily. Even if whatever program I created becomes successful and produces good statistics I get restless. I need something new and exciting. When I get close to that edge of entropy, I begin searching for my beginner's mind. I think back to the times when everything was new and fresh and exciting. The image of the teacher who died and nobody noticed follows me everywhere.
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